3/24/2023 0 Comments Should i stay or should i go![]() It’s all too easy to say “I’m miserable because my job sucks” or “I’m so unhappy because my spouse drives me crazy,” but it’s important not to make assumptions about the reasons behind your mental state. How much of your unhappiness is caused by a specific person / job / situation / etc.? Here are five questions to kickstart that kind of thinking if you find yourself wondering, Should I stay or should I go…? Which is why, when it comes to stay-or-go scenarios, it’s essential to take time to carefully think through your options, weigh the pros and cons, and also be willing to think outside the box a bit. Neither option is bad, but when you choose one, you’re going to miss out on the other. Likewise, if you opt for chocolate, you won’t get to taste the tangy sweetness of strawberry. Yes, both might be delicious, but if you choose strawberry over chocolate, you’re missing out on that cocoa flavor. Just think about choosing between two ice cream flavors that you love. For every choice you make, even if both options are great, there will be pros and cons. I say this because, when it comes to big stay-or-go decisions, it’s important to take time to really think about what’s going on, what you want, and how you feel you can get from where you are to where you’d ideally like to be. I don’t say this to scare you (the worst thing you can do is become so scared that your fear is paralyzing and you make no choice at all!). Every choice you make - particularly the big ones involving your career and your relationships - can change the course of your life forever. If you find yourself wondering any of the things above or whether you should stay where you are or go somewhere else, before you take action, you need to do a bit of soul-searching. So what do you do if you find yourself in a place where you’re wondering whether or not to stay? What do you do if your situation is fine, but still causing you to be unhappy? What if your relationship has changed to the point where you no longer recognize yourself (or your partner)? What if you’ve grown so uncomfortable at your place of work that you dread going there every day? What if you just feel like there’s something off about your situation and you don’t know if it will somehow right itself or if, in order for you to be truly fulfilled, you need to leave? And that lack-of-choice feeling can turn quickly into disinterest, distain, and even resentment - all of which will negatively taint the situation and likely other aspects of your life, since rarely is one area of life (love, work, etc.) not influenced (for better or worse…) by another. When “stay” is the default, you’re not there because you want to be, but because you feel you have no other good option. You’ll always have one eye on the door, hoping something or someone will propel you to make a change. When you’re staying just because it’s easy or because you fear what will happen if you leave, you’re not fully invested in the situation. And, honestly, no one else - not your boss, your spouse, your friend - really wants to you stay simply because it’s challenging to leave (and, if they do, they don’t truly have your best interest at heart and who wants to work with / date / love someone like that?). You don’t want to stay where you are simply because it’s the default answer. You should want to stay because it’s worth it, because, even if there are difficult times, you get something meaningful and important out of your job / relationship / etc. So difficult, in fact, that many of us will default to staying where we are, even if we’re unhappy, simply because it’s easier than making a decision.īut… do you really want to stay just because it might be difficult to go? Unless there is some clear indicator that something must change (i.e., abuse, profound misery, etc.), actually making such a choice can be incredibly difficult. The stay-or-go question is something most of us will face at some point in our lives (if we haven’t already!). After all, the time we have here is limited, and spending in situations (or with people) that are just okay, fine, or average isn’t any way to live a positive, fulfilled, and happy life. Just because there’s no dire need to escape a situation doesn’t mean you should necessarily stay put if you’re unhappy. Should you stay or should you go? Whether it’s leaving a job, a romantic relationship, or a friendship - the decision to stay where you are or make a change can be incredibly daunting, particularly if there’s no urgent reason to leave (i.e., if you’re not being treated badly and you don’t absolutely have to get out of the situation).
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